During the course of this educational master's program, I've learned quite a bit about the value of reflective leadership. All courses and assignments require reflection activities and, early on, I didn't take them as seriously as I do now. Hindsight is 20/20, or so they say. Now that I'm near the end, I am reflecting more on the work that I did in my internship as well as what I could have done better. This doesn't mean there still isn't time to accomplish some of the activities I should have done or done differently. Now, I will simply do them because it will help me learn, not so that I can say that I finished my degree.
One of things that I think about often is how, when I am an internship supervisor, I will help those interns under me to be successful. I needed a lot more guidance than I got, but I also could have asked for a lot more assistance as well. I need to get out of the "lone wolf" mode that has helped me be successful for so many years and become more open to collaboration. Literally, I have to seek out the assistance and input of others and then use it. As a leader, I also need to be ready and willing to help those under my leadership to reach their greatest potential. I must be willing to hire people who complement my weaknesses and not those who are just like me. This will take work and deliberate action on my part.
One of the things that I really needed more of was "in the front office" experience. Most of what I did was outside of the daily action, so to speak. This doesn't mean that I didn't learn. It just means I need to get more time in the office, especially as I gear up to start interviewing. One of the hindrances that kept me out of the office was the high need area, Science, where I teach. Most of my conference periods were spent planning and meeting with other teachers to work on increasing student achievement. This is not an excuse, just an observation.
One traumatic event also occurred during my 18 month internship. During February and March of 2012, I spent most of both months at M.D. Anderson Cancer Hospital in Houston as my father was dying of lung cancer. He finally succumbed to heart failure after over a month in the hospital. This one event took me quite a while to recover from and I am still in the healing process. It did help that I was able to hold his hand as he died and was also able to give a eulogy at his funeral (as did my brother, wife, and niece). Still, this slowed me down a bit.
On the plus side, the program prepared me for taking the TeXES as I passed with a score well above the minimum. My test scores also showed me that my weakest area is, as I already knew, instructional leadership. This means that I will have to work extra hard in this area to develop my skills and will also need to work with those who are even better than I am if I'm to help a school succeed. In a way, I am glad that the test revealed what I already knew. If I had done well in that domain, I probably wouldn't be reflecting on ways to compensate and grow in this skill.
I know that the above has probably been tedious, but it always helps to look back and reflect. As a leader, it should be a part of my day every day in this neverending battle to improve.
